MiGs, Stars & Magic Books: A Brief History of Trespassing in Moscow
An illustrated guide to urban exploration in the Russian capital.
18 October 2014
It’s probably fair to say that I like to travel dangerously… or if not dangerously, at least without a plan. A few weeks before I flew to Cuba, I was sat chatting to a friend who’d visited numerous times before. He asked me which hotel I was staying at – a question which left me blank.
The concept of booking ahead just feels so alien to me. My usual approach on entering a new country is simply to arrive, pick up a phrasebook, and see what happens. As soon as you try planning something like that, you rule out all the exciting things that could have happened; while hotel comforts often serve to isolate the visitor from the reality of their surroundings.
All that being said however, it would nevertheless be naive of me not to acknowledge the safety net provided in the form of my communication devices and bank card. My arrival in Havana denied me these reassurances, though; and, stepping off the plane with no plans, no contacts and no money, I was forced to experience the city in ways that I had previously not imagined.
The problems all started when my wallet – and everything in it – was stolen in Istanbul. I had travelled by bus from Bulgaria to Turkey, from where I’d fly Istanbul to Moscow, and then finally Moscow to Havana. During my stopover in Moscow I spent every minute on the Internet, frantically chasing up banks, cancelling cards and trying to access my online banking. I was stressed, and I just didn’t have time to check out any travel advice on visiting Cuba. Besides, I had a pocket full of Russian Rubles – which, given the old ties between Cuba and the Soviet Union, I felt confident I’d be able to change once I touched down in Havana’s José Martí International Airport.
Of course, if I had found time to research travel advice I would have learned that Euros and Dollars are pretty much the only currencies a foreigner can change in Cuba. Added to that, Internet is virtually non-existent save for a handful of overpriced business centres in the fancier hotels.
By the time I arrived I was tired and stressed, my wallet was gone, I didn’t speak a word of Spanish and my phone was dead – not that I had anyone to call at this stage, anyway. I had arrived early – I was due to be meeting friends in Havana four days later, but I’d wanted to get a head start and experience a more personal introduction to the city. I would certainly achieve that.
I found the office outside, queueing in the hot sun for what seemed like an eternity, before finally presenting a stack of crisp Russian notes to the money changer. He shook his head. As it turned out, no one in Cuba was prepared to even look at my Rubles.
Reaching a point of desperation, I sat down outside the airport and tried to come up with a plan. For the first while at least, I almost enjoyed the novelty: taxi drivers, illegal money changers and cigar salesmen would approach me for my money – I turned my pockets inside out by way of reply, and asked them for money instead. As the day rolled on though, the situation began to look increasingly bleak… and for a time I wondered if I’d be sleeping on my bench outside the airport for the next four days.
Soon I resorted to striking up conversations with strangers, in the hope of finding help. That’s when I met Marcelo. He was working on a tour desk in the airport, and seemed to be friendly enough.
“I was wondering if you could help me,” I began politely, hesitant at first to reveal quite how much help I was looking for. We got talking and he asked me where I’d travelled from. When I said Bulgaria, he smiled and nodded.
“I know it well,” he answered. I assumed he’d mistaken me; perhaps he’d heard Bolivia, I thought. But Marcelo went on to tell me his story. He was an engineer previously, and as a student he took a three-year work placement with the Soviet Union, to be stationed at an industrial site just south of Moscow. The Party funded an annual holiday for these workers, which usually took them to the beach resorts of Bulgaria.
As Marcelo happily chatted away about his visits to the communist-era monuments at Varna and Buzludzha, I decided to myself this must be fate.
“I need somewhere to stay,” I told him, “but I can’t pay for it.” I explained the stolen wallet, and how I’d be fine once I’d just managed to get to a bank which could change Rubles to Pesos… or failing that, when my friends arrived four days later.
“It’s no problem!” he beamed, “I call my friend. She’ll send a car, she’ll take care of you. Maybe you pay her next week, yes?”
It was dark by the time the unofficial taxi cab arrived. We drove from the airport into the city, along the Malecon, and right into the heart of Old Havana. Here the streets were filled with people and cars, latin music blasting through old speakers and gangs of youths smoking and drinking on corners or sat along the sea wall. I immediately realised I was out of my depth – it was my first time in the Americas and the noise, the chaos of this less-than-affluent district of Havana would offer me no chance to ease myself in gently. When I later gained access to the Internet again, I would read travel sites that advised tourists against walking through these streets after dark… but for me, and for the next four days at least, this was home.
And so began a very strange few days. I found myself living with a local family so nebulous that I never quite managed to pin down who was married to whom, which were whose children, and so on. Some of them were black, others hispanic, and nobody spoke any English.
The door to the small house was always left wide open, onto a street where kids played baseball in the heavy fumes exhaled by classic American cars. My host, Nuria, seemed to be some kind of community matriarch – her home was like an open forum, the whole neighbourhood seemingly welcome to walk in and out without announcement.
During my stay, I got friendly with a young Indian man who had apparently made the same mistake as me – he’d arrived in Cuba without money or support, had been rescued from the streets by Nuria, and thanks to his broken English we were soon laughing about our shared misfortunes and subsequent salvation.
Nuria and her family gave me a room, they fed me, they even gave me lunch money. I would eat meals with them, or sit in a corner studying my Spanish phrasebook, while the women of the house sieved insects out of a sack of state-subsidised rice rations. The socialist nature of Cuba means that citizens are allotted certain quantities of food provided by the state… but as I was to find out, it wasn’t necessarily the best food. Any comforts above merely surviving need to be independently funded – and with local minimum wage running to around $8 per month, it’s easy to understand the importance of tourism here.
Most visitors however, never realise quite how (comparatively) cheap it is to live in Cuba. The country uses two currencies – the “Convertible Peso” is locked to the dollar, and this is what tourists are expected to use. Cuban people however, have access to the “National Peso.” Once I’d picked up a little Spanish I found it relatively easy to get my hands on national currency, and suddenly a meal which might have cost 3 dollars was coming out at more like 30 cents. This dual currency system allows Cuba to milk as much income from tourists as is possible… and who could blame them?
A friend would later tell me that 90% of Cubans want to talk to you; and that 90% of those want your money.
The first part is certainly true. Wherever I went, people would try to strike up a conversation. Most didn’t care that I couldn’t understand much Spanish, while there were many younger people who were desperate to practice the English they’d learned in school. In fairness though, the conversation would usually reach a sales pitch soon enough… but with time to kill and no money to lose, I gave everybody the benefit of the doubt.
I actually love it when people try to scam me. When I was a child I enjoyed nothing better than watching magic shows. The audience queues up, eager to be deceived – and then begins a battle of wits, as the magician attempts to pull some kind of misdirection, while we have to guess the trick, spot the sleight of hand. Being scammed is no different, and any time I travel to a new country I’m always on the lookout for a fresh and unpredictable new routine.
Cuba is not a violent place, and physical attacks on tourists are extremely rare. It may have something to do with an overbearing and punitive big-brother state, which earns a huge amount of revenue from tourism; punishments are severe for citizens accused of assaulting Cuba’s guests. As a result, the criminal classes tend to favour mind games over muggings. They need you to hand your money over willingly… and so by having no money to hand over, I felt as though I’d been given a free pass to every magic show in town.
There was Lazaro, for example, a short hispanic man with gold teeth who stopped me in the street one day and made a lazy attempt to sell me some cigars. The usual pitch is to claim that a family member who works in the cigar factory can smuggle out the good stuff to sell it on the side. They’re fakes, of course, and taste like soggy paper. Lazaro was just going through the motions, the same tired old script, and my attention faded quickly.
Another popular scam here is to ask for help feeding hungry children – and it’s a really emotional pitch. The artiste will often show pictures of their children, then lead the way to a backstreet store which sells plain, white bags of state-issued powdered milk. For a few coins, it’s possible to buy extra rations. They’ll persuade their target to pick up the bill, all the while claiming it’s to feed their baby. The tourist leaves, and minutes later the con artist returns the milk for a refund, splitting the spoils with the shop owner.
Other scams are less developed, however. The taxi drivers who fiddle their meters to charge extortionate fares. And of course, the coin sellers: in particular, the three-peso coin in Cuba’s national currency makes for a popular souvenir, featuring as it does the face of Che Guevara on one side. Several times I was approached by scammers trying to sell it to me for five dollars as a “limited edition print”… a more accurate conversion rate would value it at $0.11, however. Weeks later I’d be chased down a street in Trinidad by a toothless old man, who babbled in Spanish as he desperately waved his Che notes at my back.
Others are simply opportunists, with no real game as such – they want what you’ve got, and they’re not afraid to ask for it. Another time, in a bar in Matanzas, I met a man named Jorge. He was 50 years old, and happened to stop by on his way home from his factory job. He asked if he could join us for a drink (which in Cuba, generally means the foreigner is paying). I bought him a drink, and then he asked for my sunglasses. I gave him my sunglasses, and then he asked for five dollars.
Then there was Cesar. Cesar was a young black student, who approached me during those early days in Havana. He pulled all the usual moves: tried offering me cigars, weed, cocaine, vintage rum, and so on. I kept telling him I had no money, and he clearly didn’t believe me. A white foreigner, in Cuba, with no money? Obviously I was lying and he just hadn’t hit the right buttons yet. Cesar followed me for most of the afternoon as I wandered through town, and even waited outside when I tried changing up Russian money in a bank (to no avail). Eventually he invited me to go for a drink with him.
Much like the milk scam above, there’s a common trick which involves a local taking you out for a drink at their friend’s bar. You’ll pay for everything, and the bill will be far too much. As soon as you leave your host will head back inside, where the bar manager will offer them a “finder’s fee” for delivering yet another rich and gullible tourist to the slaughter.
I could see where this was leading, and I kept insisting to Cesar that I had nothing… then, eventually, something clicked. It took perhaps two hours for realisation to dawn on him, but once he finally got his head around the notion of a penniless tourist in a bad situation, he dropped the games immediately. We went out for a few cocktails together after all, and Cesar paid the bill. During that time we chatted about life in Cuba, he showed me pictures of his family, and even invited me to come for dinner at his house one night. (Naturally, I accepted… but that’s a whole different story.)
In time, this would become a typical experience. It’s true that the vast majority of Cubans seem to want to talk to you, and yes, many of those will try to take your money. There’s no getting away from the fact that most visitors to the country have access to wealth beyond the wildest imaginings of the locals. Life can be tough here, and it’s only natural that they’re going to want to learn English, and work out peaceful (albeit usually dishonest) ways of getting you to share your riches. But when you strip that privilege away, if you can manage to convince a Cuban that – contrary to everything they’ve been taught – you really do have nothing to give them, in my experience, the majority will still want to be your friend anyway. These people are hungry and very often desperate, but beneath it all the Cuban spirit is warm, generous and companionable.
By the time my friends eventually arrived in Havana I was able to borrow money, make online transfers, and repay my hosts beyond their expectations. When I donated an old mobile phone to my surrogate mother as a gesture of gratitude, she broke down into tears and began smothering me in hugs and kisses.
What had initially looked like a disaster turned into one of my most valuable travel experiences to date; those first four days in Havana gave me an intense crash course in speaking Spanish, but more than that, they offered a priceless insight into day-to-day Cuban life.
The experience also showed me the nature of true Cuban hospitality, which was something I would remember later; as the weeks went on and I was exposed to scam after scam after scam. While some of the other foreigners around me experienced predominantly negative interactions, I always had that initial experience to refer to, and I never forgot the deep generosity which – in spite of the games, the corruption, the trickery which plagues the Cuban tourist trail – nevertheless lies at the heart of Cuba’s national character.
An illustrated guide to urban exploration in the Russian capital.
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A month-long monument hunt, and what I learned along the way.
Great post, stumbled upon it trying to research actual homelessness statistics in cuba.
The Castro’s destroyed that once beautiful and prosperous country, and turn it into a third world country inhabited by beggars, scammers and thieves who “resuelven”
Thankfully the resistance is alive and one day they’ll be free.
Cuba has incredible potential, and the people are some of the kindest I’ve ever met. I sincerely hope that one day they have the government they deserve.
https://theconversation.com/cuba-is-poor-but-who-is-to-blame-castro-or-50-years-of-us-blockade-69528
did Castro destroy the country or did the 55 years embargo by USA destroy the country.
It was Castro.
It’s certainly not perfect today, but that old Cuba you’re lamenting had people dying on the streets without the ability to even get the basic needs of life. There was mass rural poverty and unemployment. Massive numbers of women had to resort to sex work to survive. At least Cubans today have those basics and a job that provides them they know won’t be offshored or eliminated tomorrow because some boss wants a new yacht.
I heard that the mafia had free rein in the country before Castro and life was unbearable for the peoplw under the old regime .
I’m glad of your impressions in my country
Good! A lot of people have written about the tourist scams in Cuba, and there definitely are a lot of them… but the people themselves were incredibly warm and welcoming, in my experience. It’s a truly beautiful country.
Love this story. Thanks for sharing !
You’re very welcome – I’m glad you enjoyed it.
That was the best Cuba-travel-story I have read. You seem to be a smart and genuine person yourself
Thank you, Mimi! I’m flattered. 🙂
whoever wrote this article is a dick. cuba is a very very nice country and was utter shit hellhole before communism. there are no homeless kids living in the streets and no one goes hungry in cuba for a reason.
Thanks for your thoughtful contribution, fjoadifj.
I don’t get it, where did he say there were homeless children on the streets? And he explained about how there is a minimum ration so that there is no real hunger.
I know… I’m guessing they didn’t actually read the article.
Considering most of the population is stupid when it comes to Castro and Cuba because of this crap…I’d say fjoad is dead on! Now may I say Darmin, Thanks for your not so useful contribution. Peace
I take it you didn’t bother to read the article then. And you obviously didn’t read my massively pro-Cuban piece here. Have you even been to Cuba, Jen? Maybe start with that. You’ll see what I’m talking about.
Your article was excellent and honest. Unlike some people on here that can’t handle the truth.
Your comment is so ignorant and you have no sense of grammar by the way. If you like the communism in Cuba so much why don’t you just move there.
This writer shared his honest assessment, both good and bad, of HIS experiences in Cuba. And it’s not his fault that, during the last 58 years, the Castro’s have turned Cuba into a country of jineteras liars, scam artists and thieves.
I wish the embargo had squeezed the life out of all the communist criminals there.
You are ignorant and delusional, and must be paid for by the comite de defensa! Idiota!
fjoadifj is the dishonest one here, who can’t handle the truth.
Damian did an excellent job depicting the reality that is Cuba in poverty.
Thank you very much, Ana. I don’t pretend to be an expert on Cuba, but I found the place truly fascinating and so I tried to learn as much as I could from the people I met. Like you say, this is just an honest account of MY experience in Cuba – I still have a lot to learn, but I really appreciate your kind comments.
A really good story and an unique experience in this unique destination. And thanks for the tips 🙂
You’re very welcome, Olivia – I hope the tips come in handy.
Good story! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thanks Mirre, I appreciate the comment!
Except you get to leave.
A great post and many great lessons. Glad everything turned out alright. I laughed at the photo of Jorge and your glasses.
Thanks Janika! Glad you enjoyed that photo – Jorge was just one of those loveable rogues you can’t help but like…
Cuba definitely is not for last minute winging it, but glad everything turned out ok for you. Love the photos. http://www.worldincolortours.com
Thank you, Raul. Interesting site, by the way. I was quite surprised to find how LGBT-friendly Cuba seems to be… in fact, one of the best evenings I had there was when we wandered by accident into a gay bar in Havana! It feels much more progressive there than I would ever have expected from a socialist republic.
Kindness in times of chaos. Glad everything turned out ok,
Lightsoutacubanmemoir.blogspot.com
Thank you, Dania.
A great recount of your time – amazing! I’m heading there myself in January and am so looking forward to experiencing the country away from all the tourist traps. From your experience, would you recommend booking something for the first couple of days after arriving in advance? How does one get hold of the local currency to use? Did you do any hitch-hiking to get around?
Hi Dot, thanks so much for the kind words! So, to answer your questions –
– If you’re arriving in the daytime, you won’t need to book in advance (unless you’re looking for the VIP hotel experience, and it sounds like you’re not). If you want the authentic, home-stay vibe, then you’ll want to find a ‘Casa particular.’ There are tons of them about, and you’ll recognise them by a blue anchor symbol on the front door. People are generally very friendly, and especially to paying guests! One night we knocked on someone’s door at 2am… they were a little confused at first, but once they woke up enough to realise we wanted to give them some money, they were delighted to welcome us into their home. There are tons of these places about, especially in the larger towns, although a little research wouldn’t hurt… maybe mark a few options on the map before you travel?
– You can get Pesos on arrival, just outside the airport in Havana. Don’t do what I did, though – be sure you’re carrying a currency that they like, ie. Dollars or Euros ideally. There are ATMs around, but you can’t rely on them. It’s worth bringing everything you think you’ll spend in cash… and even outside of the airport, there are quite a few places you can change those big currencies into Cuban Pesos.
– Cubans don’t seem to have quite the same attitude towards hitchhiking, from what I saw. I tried it on a few occasions, and about 50% of the time the driver would ask for a payment on arrival. I’m not sure whether they were new to the concept, or simply trying their luck. Anyway, getting a lift isn’t the hard part… just don’t be surprised if drivers occasionally ask you for a ‘tip’!
I hope this helps – enjoy your trip!
Going this January. Were you able to hitch easily, how much did you spend? Need some tips. Thanks
Hi Rob, I’m happy to share some tips. Cuba is cheap, but due to the lack of ATMs it’s safest not to underestimate it. To be honest, I don’t exactly remember how much it cost me to be there – it was a few years ago now, things are changing, and I’ve been to a lot of other places since. This site does a good breakdown of typical costs, though – maybe work it out this way, and then take half as much again. You don’t want to get stuck, like I did!
As for hitching, it’s a mixed bag really. Some people will understand the concept and gladly offer you a lift. Others will suddenly ask you for payment later on… in the end, I found it was safest just to assume that you’ll end up paying something, and make sure you agree the price upfront. It’s never particularly expensive, though – I got a lift from Havana to Matanzas one day, a distance of some 100km, and I think I gave them around $30.
My overwhelming experience of the place though, was that people are friendly and they’ll help you to get where you need to go. It’s an easy place to travel. And while it’s certainly cheap, do be sure to have an emergency fund stashed away somewhere.
I hope this is helpful!
Fascinating! I’m planning my first trip to Cuba in December/January, so it was great to come across this. I’ve spent a lot of time in India, where people are similarly reknowned for scamming, so I’m looking forward to seeing what the Cubans come up with 🙂
I’ve not been to India yet, but from what I’ve heard it sounds like it’ll put you in good stead for Cuba. Seriously though, despite all the scamming it’s an incredibly peaceful place. Enjoy your trip, and I’m glad this post was useful!
Very nice article and pictures of Havana, it is true that many people will try to get your money, with very smart tricks that make you feel like a fool afterwards. But if you are aware of this, there are also many good and genuine people in Cuba, specially outside Havana, in the little towns. Thank you!
Yes, that’s exactly what I found… and as much as I loved Havana, getting out of the big cities was the best thing I did in Cuba. Thanks for reading!
Hey Darmon, this is a really cool article about Havana. I just got back from Cuba and I had similar experiences as you, though not to the same extent. I think Cuba is up there with top countries I’ve ever been to and is definitely most photogenic! I especially like how you view the Jintaroos. It’s an outside-the-box way that I think I’ll take on board. I’m off, now, to read some more of your stuff! Really liking it! 🙂
Thanks a lot Crystal, it’s interesting to hear from someone with a similar take on the place. I read your post, sounds like a pretty hectic experience! But then, that’s what I loved about Cuba – you never know what’s going to happen next.
Thank you for your kind words, and I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the blog – I’ll be keeping an eye on yours now, too!
I also experienced meeting all the people wanting to scam for milk and cigars and taxi taxi however the thing that ripped moff totally was AIR FRANCE as I ddi not know about the tourist ticket I was not allowed to fly with Air France who do not provided them at the airport although I had a return ticket I then had to book a one way with thomas Cook who provided the £30 ticket no props however on returning to airport for my return flight which I had paid for AIR FRANCE said my ticket was cancelled as had not flown out with them after along debate and also being totally on my own I had to pay 890 pounds for my return ticket on a half empty plane The Cuban people have areason to play the scam games they have nothing AIR FRANCE are just Corparete PIRATES
That’s awful, really sorry to hear about this. Guess I won’t be flying with Air France anytime soon! And I agree – you can forgive people for scams when they’re genuinely hungry. To get ripped off like that by a large corporation is just disappointing.
Wow what a beautiful story. I couldn’t agree more -in Havana I also found every Cuban wants to speak to you and strike up a conversation. They are just as curious about us as we are of them! But I disagree in that they all want money or to scam you. I was lucky not to encounter too much of this. Havana has become one of my absolute favourite cities!
Thanks so much for the comment Cristina! It’s always interesting to compare experiences with someone else who’s been. While I was particularly interested in the scams I did encounter, the point I was making here was that NOT everyone wants to scam you – many people are purely curious, and hugely generous to go with it! Did you not encounter any scams during your stay? It’s good to hear another perspective.
Darmon, this is truly is a fantastic read. Through your articles you’ve really given me a strong desire to step outside of my comfort zone and travel the world… whether or not I actually do it is another story. Either way, your articles are absolutely fantastic. As a complete homebody, I love them.
Thanks Jonathan! I’m really happy with the positive response this post seems to have had – especially seeing as it was a collection of unplanned events and subsequent reflections, as opposed to my usual location reports. Glad to have given you a dose of wanderlust, too! It’s great to have you onboard, and thanks for commenting.
I have so many places to visit and Cuba is one of them
I highly recommend it! (In case you couldn’t tell already…)
great story. as a Cuban born I had lived ,enjoyed and suffered your experience there many years ago. thank you for share it.
Thanks for commenting, Juan! It’s great to hear from someone with a first-hand connection to the place.
Great story! Comparing scamming to a magic show is spot on 🙂 I had a very similar experiences with those kind of people and really liked every one it. Thanks for posting.
Yeah, a lot of these sort of scams are fairly universal. Depending on how you look at it though, they can be pretty entertaining! Glad you enjoyed the post, and thanks for commenting.
Love it! It takes patience to find the love in any soul.
Very true words – it’s usually in there somewhere, if you take the time to dig deep enough. I look forward to our next meeting, Nicholas!
What unbelievable stress!!! Anymore pictures or a longer stay perhaps in the future?
Yeah, it really was! And I have so many more pictures from Cuba… I think the next Cuba post is going to have to be about Che Guevara. That should be a good one!
Sounds like an amazing way to explore indeed, but I think I’ll be more stressed than you without money! Well done mate
Thanks Alex! It’s funny how dependent we are on these things… but after I got through the initial panic stage, not having any money was actually a really liberating experience. I wouldn’t have chosen it, but I definitely think I learned a lot.